Habit #3: Broaden your horizons
An effective lover knows there's more to sex than intercourse. "He doesn't simply grab a woman's breasts and then dive for her crotch," says Robert Birch, Ph.D., a marital and sex therapist in Columbus, Ohio. Instead, he "sees intercourse as one of many options." Our sex therapists mentioned many possibilities, from using sex toys to rubbing your penis on different parts of your partner's body, to watching her masturbate. "The essential attitude -- especially in a long-term relationship -- is that nothing in particular has to happen during any sex act," says Constance Avery-Clark, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Coral Springs, Florida.
Go to the next page for Habits #4-7...
Habit #4: Float like a butterfly
They may not want to admit it, but women like receiving oral sex as much as we do. If you've already figured out how to make your partner hear colors, we salute you. But if you could use a bit more time in the lab, try this technique: It's the fabled Venus butterfly, described for us here by Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist in Los Angeles:
Spend some time kissing and touching until your partner starts to become aroused, then gently pull back the hood of her clitoris. Stimulate the clitoris with short, then long strokes, with either your tongue or your moistened fingers. Ask your partner to tell you when she's reached at least "8" on an excitement scale of 1 to 10.
Then, with small, circular motions, stimulate the entire outside area of the vagina with your tongue and your fingers until she's back down to "5." Now, go back to the clitoris. When she reaches "8" again, place the palm of your hand against her genitals and slide one finger into her vagina. With your fingertip, tap a spot about 2 inches inside her vagina, on the upper wall. (Home of the elusive G-spot -- some women have it and some don't, but either way, this will feel good.) Now, just keep stroking or licking her clitoris while tapping her G-spot. She'll let you know when it's time to stop.
Habit #5: Keep her waiting
Teasing doesn't come naturally to most men, but it can be very appealing to women. Why rush the greatest thing in life? Instead, enjoy it more...
Take 10 times longer
The stereotypical guy watches his mate undress and then pounces on her like a linebacker on a loose ball. He grabs hold of her breasts and works them like pizza dough, and soon she's bored out of her mind. So, if you want to make a big impression, surprise her with your slowness. The key: Build steadily and specifically to a nipple crescendo for her, says Linda DeVillers, Ph.D., author of Love Skills. Start at the outermost rim of the nipple and slowly spin inward. As your finger travels, you should notice the rim around her nipple (the areola) darken and the nipple itself stiffen. Place a finger on each side of the nipple and push down lightly, pulling your fingers apart as you go. Making the nipple taut (and ready!) in this way will heighten the sensation for her when you start to lick and tickle it a few moments later.
Start early in the day
"Call your lover at work and tell her what you'd like to do to her tonight when she gets home," suggests Gardos. You'll both be thinking about sex for hours.
